Thursday, December 27, 2012

Angry Birds - Star Wars



Angry Birds - Star Wars
Available to download now on iOS, Google Play, PC, Amazon, Mac, Windows 8 & WP8! http://download.angrybirdsstarwars.com

Angry Birds Star Wars is a new Angry Birds game set in a galaxy far, far away. Take a look at our http://angrybirds.com/starwars homepage for fan art, comics and even more animations.

Follow Angry Birds on Twitter at http://twitter.com/angrybirds
Like Angry Birds on Facebook at http://facebook.com/angrybirds
Join Angry Birds on G+ at http://plus.google.com/+AngryBirds

...And may The Birds be with you, always.

Source:  http://youtu.be/l6lYFO_tKlE


Luke & Leia

R2-D2 & C3PO

Han Solo & Chewie (Chewbacca)

Obi-Wan Kenobi & Darth Vader

Sunday, December 16, 2012

SENYUM: Sebuah Antologi Kemanusiaan

TELAH TERBIT : ANTOLOGI KEMANUSIAAN SENYUM (TEMA KISAH CINTA) & UNDANGAN MENGIKUTI ANTOLOGI KEMANUSIAAN SENYUM TEMA CERPEN ANAK

by Dia Gaara Andromeda on Saturday, December 15, 2012 at 10:46am ·

TELAH TERBIT!
Sebuah antologi amal yang didedikasikan untuk Perpustakaan Senyum guna menembus anak jalanan.
Dengan membeli antologi ini, besar artinya untuk kami :)
Bantulah kami untuk membuat anak-anak itu selalu ter-SENYUM

SENYUM
Ada Cinta, Persahabatan dan Canda Tawa

SENYUM. Satu kata yang sederhana tetapi memiliki banyak makna. Sebuah perpustakaan kecil di daerah Bogor Selatan yang menamakan diri Perpustakaan Senyum adalah wadah membaca yang awalnya tumbuh dalam kesederhanaan, tapi seketika menguat tatkala keinginan dan minat anak-anak yang makin besar terhadap buku. Rasa cinta, persahabatan dan canda tawa dari para sahabat senyumlah yang mengokohkan kebersamaan ini. Selama 2 tahun sudah perpustakaan ini bertahan dalam dimensi yang penuh liku. Walau begitu, perpustakaan ini tidak pernah lupa akan tujuan awalnya yang ingin menyapa anak-anak jalanan yang sebenarnya lebih membutuhkan sarana membaca dan belajar. Dari keyakinan inilah antologi amal ini terlahir. Cinta dari para sahabat senyum yang menguatkan kami untuk keterbatasan mereka.

Inilah 23 kisah yang dikemas secara unik dan penuh hikmah oleh para sahabat senyum, karena sesungguhnya cinta adalah senyum, dan senyum adalah cinta. Keduanya saling berkait dan tak terpisahkan satu sama lain.


“Kumcer ini kaya dengan metafora multikultural. Selintas seperti sederhana tapi pada titik terjauh memiliki kedalaman kontemplasi yang ngangenin. Seperti pelangi sastra yang lahir dari keragaman sidik jari kepenulisan, juga seperti sebuah taman ketika banyak warna memanjakan kolbu pembaca. Ini yang membuat saya tenggelam. Ada deret humanisme, nestapa manusia dan pergulatan budaya yang mencengangkan. Di sini, semoga para pemilik masa depan sastra Indonesia ini, tidak berhenti di kilometer nol.”
(Tandi Skober, esais dan penikmat sastra)


“Buku ini sangat ringan dan inspiratif. Sarat dengan hitam putihnya persahabatan, full love, crying and smile.”
(Mayoko Aiko, penulis)


“Inilah realita percintaan remaja saat ini, yang lebaayyy ... yang kiyut! Yang rempong! Yang kepo! Yang mendayu! Nggak lupa, yang ajib inspiratif juga ada! Semuanya digambarkan dengan apik oleh 23 cerpenis fantastis. Mereka mengukir 23 senyum, 23 sisi, 23 suasana, 23 makna terindah dalam 23 cerita.”
(Paulus Nugroho, penikmat buku, ilustrator lepas)


Penerbit : Universal Nikko
Kategori (Sub) : Fiksi (Kumcer)
ISBN : 978-602-9458-21-3

Seluruh Kontributor :
Mayoko Aiko | Indah Hanaco | Sondang Nababan | Lonyenk Rap | Impian Nopitasari | Angri Saputra | Arumi Ekowati | Alfian Daniear | Hilal Ahmad | Naminist | Jacob Julian | Prima Sagita | Ari Keling | Setiawan D Chogah | Astuti Parengkuh | Dedek Fidelis Sinabutar | Fuan Fauzi | Nafilah Nurdin | Akarui Cha | Ikbal Tawakal | Wiwin Faresha Al Ghifari | Ryourie | Widi Astuti

Edisi⁄Cetakan : I, 1st Published
Tahun Terbit : 2012
Harga : Rp 49.500,-

Penjualan buku hanya dilakukan via online, karena antologi ini dicetak sangat terbatas. Pemesanan buku ini bisa melalui : Widi Astuti / Dia Gaara Andromeda di nomor hape 08567368262 atau FB-nya : Dia Gaara Andromeda (die_femti(at)yahoo.co.id) atau email senyumcendolers(at)yahoo.co.id

Semua keuntungan penjualan antologi ini diserahkan ke kas Perpustakaan Senyum guna membiayai sewa di lokasi baru. Jadi jika teman-teman membeli buku ini, saya sangat berterima kasih sekali, berarti kalian menyumbang untuk perpustakaan senyum. Beginilah cara kami mencari dana, dengan berkarya, tak sekedar meminta begitu saja.

Dengan diterbitkannya antologi kemanusiaan senyum tahap 1, maka dengan ini kami menggelar AUDISI ANTOLOGI KEMANUSIAAN SENYUM TAHAP 2 dengan tema CERPEN ANAK (CERNAK) :

Syarat Teknis Penulisan Cernak :

1. Font: Arial
2. Ukuran font: 12
3. Jarak baris: 1,5
4. Banyak kata: 600 – 700 kata, kira-kira 2 halaman A4
5. Tidak boleh menyertakan nama penulis di naskah cerpen, tulis naskah cerpen dengan subjek : NASKAH CERNAK ANTOLOGI KEMANUSIAAN SENYUM 2. Biodata penulis ditulis di word terpisah, dengan didalamnya menyertakan judul cerpennya. Biodata penulis dikirim dengan subjek : BIODATA PENULIS CERNAK ANTOLOGI KEMANUSIAAN SENYUM 2
6. Cernak harus menyertakan 3 kata kunci berikut di dalam ceritanya : Taman Bacaan, Buku, dan Senyum
7. Kirim ke email : senyumcendolers(at)yahoo.co.id
8. DL : 30 Maret 2013 (masih lama kan, hehe)
9. Harus mengandung amanat dalam ceritanya
10. Maksimal boleh mengirimkan 2 cernak

Syarat Umum Penulisan Naskah Cerita :

1. Cerita harus asli, tidak menjiplak karya orang lain.
2. Cerita tidak mengandung unsur kekerasaan, pornografi, atau yang menyinggung SARA (suku, agama dan ras)
3. Menggunakan bahasa Indonesia yang baik.
4. Alur cerita dan permasalahan cocok untuk anak-anak usia SD, range usia 6 s/d 13 tahun.
5. Bentuk antologi ini adalah antologi kemanusiaan, jadi dari pihak Perpustakaan Senyum, jika naskah ini sudah terbit, penulis tidak mendapatkan royalti, kami hanya memberikan reward berupa 1 buah buku sebagai bukti terbit.

Sama halnya dengan naskah senyum, kami juga memberikan kesempatan kepada para ilustrator berbakat untuk mencoba menggambar cover untuk antologi senyum tahap kedua. Antologi senyum tahap 1 covernya pernah dibuat oleh 3 ilustrator muda : Satsuki Borunababan (Sondang Nababan), Shela Sherenita, dan Paulus Nugroho. Dan mereka dengan sukarela menggambar untuk Senyum. Hingga akhirnya terpilihlah ilustrasi milik Satsuki Borunababan. Jadi sama ketentuan dengan naskahnya, jika terpilih nanti, kami tidak akan memberikan reward apapun sebagai honornya, hanya 1 buah buku antologi sebagai bukti terbit. Maklum ini adalah jenis antologi kemanusiaan. Senyum tak mempunyai kas banyak berkenaan tentang hal ini. Jika berminat silahkan kirim gambar kalian ke inbox saya / ke email : senyumcendolers(at)yahoo.co.id (subjek : ILUSTRASI COVER ANTOLOGI SENYUM TAHAP KEDUA). Untuk mengetahui syarat teknisnya dan gambar seperti apa yang Senyum butuhkan, bisa tanya via inbox saya.

Salam
Panitia Senyum

Sumber Artikel:
http://www.facebook.com/notes/dia-gaara-andromeda/telah-terbit-antologi-kemanusiaan-senyum-tema-kisah-cinta-undangan-mengikuti-ant/10151230238906859

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Chloe's Closet



source: http://youtu.be/QkwT4c_k6vc

Chloe's Closet" follows the fun-filled adventures of an adorable, imaginative little girl named Chloe who discovers magical new worlds while playing dress-up in her closet. With each new costume Chloe tries on, she is swept up in a fantastical journey with her best friend and constant companion, her security blanket named Lovely Carrot. Chloe's experiences also encourage the audience to celebrate how delightful it is to be a little kid embarking upon a fabulously fun and fearless, anything-can-happen journey -- while also exploring the exciting realm of preschool math. The majority of each episode is devoted to Chloes imaginary world, where the world of make believe is engaged once her closet doors open and a costume donned, while Chloes real-life bookends the stories. The show is produced in 3D CGI and Flash animation by Mike Young Productions

Cafe d'Amor - Andry Chang


A cozy, romantic cafe. Courtesy of Dino'z Cafe, Jl. Sentani C11/14, Kemayoran, Central Jakarta




Café d’Amor

A Short Story by Andry Chang



Kulangkahkan kakiku yang gemetar dalam kafe ini.
Rasa sesak merasuk jiwa, menyusupi kalbu hingga kepala.
Suasana surga di dalam tak jua menyejukkan hati ini.
Suara-suara terus mendesak, ingin berteriak, “Mengapa? Mengapa?”
Gadis manis menyambut ceria, “Selamat datang di Café d’Amor, tempat berseminya asmara.”
Huh, asmara apa? Tak tahukah ia wajahku memendam prahara?
Tenang, nona. Takkan kuledakkan di sini. Setidaknya tergantung jawaban yang kudapat nanti.
Jadi, kupaksakan senyum dan ujaran, “Boleh saya bicara dengan pemilik kafe?”
“Oh, maksud mas Pak Dhimara? Dengan mas siapa ini? Untuk keperluan apa?”
“Saya Fadli. Urusan saya ini pribadi, tapi Pak Dhimara pasti akan tahu saat melihat saya.”
Kerutan tergurat di dahi gadis itu. “Baik, biar saya beritahu bapak dulu,” ujarnya sambil berlalu.
Menanti sejenak, gelisah memuncak.
Hingga tatapan menangkap seorang pria berjalan mendekat. Tigapuluhan, rupawan, berkacamata, figur panutan keluarga. Dengan celemek putih membalut kemeja sederhana, kurasa bukan dia pemilik kafe ini.
“Dengan Mas Fadli?” tegurnya ramah.
“Ya. Anda Pak Dhimara?”
“Panggil Dhima saja. Mari, kita duduk dulu.”
Tegur sapa kebapakannya sedikit menghangatkan baraku. Saat kembali duduk di kursi pink empuk depan meja kaca putih ini, baraku kembali tersulut.
Harus menahan diri, harus.
“Nampaknya mas sedang ada masalah, ya?”
Ucapan Dhima membuyarkan lamunanku.
“Ah, begini…” Tentu saja ada masalah! Ayo bibir, katakanlah!
“Apakah ada hubungannya dengan kafe ini?”
Tepat sasaran. Ah, tentu saja. Kurasa barista seperti Dhima pasti mampu membaca isi hati pelanggan. Tapi, apa ia siap untuk yang satu ini?
Bibirku bergetar. “Ya. Kafe inilah sumber masalahnya.”
Dhima tampak terperanjat, bukan dibuat-buat.
“Jelaskanlah,” ujarnya.
Maka kubeberkan kenanganku. “Kira-kira dua bulan yang lalu, saya berkencan dengan seorang wanita di sini. Yah, suasana kafe ini sungguh romantis, tak kalah dengan kafe-kafe bergaya Hispanik di Lisbon, Portugal. Ditambah udara segar dari taman di luar, benar-benar sempurna seperti slogan anda itu.”
“Ah, ya, Café d’Amor, tempat berseminya asmara,” ujar Dhima.
Aku mengangguk. “Ya. Nah, semula saya ragu menyatakan cinta pada Meisya. Yah, takut ditolak dan sebagainya. Namun anda, ya, anda datang menyarankan minuman… apa ya…”
“Iced Caramel Macchiato, Toraja Blend. Saya baru ingat itu.”
“Tepat. Kopi keras membangkitkan keberanian. Saya bersorak saat Meisya menerima cinta saya.”
“Kalau tak salah, foto anda berdua juga terpampang di dinding depan, bukan?” Telunjuk Dhima menari-nari.
“Tak salah. Tapi sebaiknya anda cabut saja foto itu, juga slogan anda.”
“Lho, mengapa?” Senyum Dhima berganti kerutan di dahinya. “Apa yang terjadi?”
“Kami putus seminggu yang lalu. Tak sampai dua bulan! Huh! ‘Keajaiban Cinta’ kafe anda ini sungguh tak manjur!”
Nah, tumpahlah seluruh sesakku.
Anehnya, Dhimara diam seribu bahasa. Ia hanya menatapku seperti seorang ayah pada anaknya.
Egoku terusik, emosiku tersulut.
Sebelum amarahku membuncah bagai kembang api tahun baru, Dhima angkat bicara, “Tenang, Mas Fadli. Nampaknya anda sedikit salah paham. Yah, terus terang kami sudah sering mendengar keluhan seperti ini. Dan semuanya itu bersumber dari mitos yang keliru.”
“Mitos? Keliru? Apa maksud anda? Jangan berbelit-belit!”
Dhima kembali menyela, “Mitos, anggapan bahwa siapapun yang menyatakan cintanya di tempat ini  pasti mendapatkan cinta sejati. Itukah yang pertama kali menarik anda kemari?”
“Eh, uh…” Memang benar, jaminan itulah yang membuatku melintas separuh lebar kota kemari. Namun ego melarangku mengakuinya.
“Tak usah dijawab.” Suara si lawan bicara menyelamatkan gengsiku. “Entah mitos, word of mouth marketing atau reputasilah yang membuat kafe kami ini laris. Namun seharusnya setiap pengunjung menyadari satu hal terpenting. Cinta didapatkan dan dipertahankan lewat usaha dan keputusan. Kami di sini hanya memberikan suasana dan sajian yang mendukung, sedangkan Tuhanlah yang menentukan hasil akhirnya.”
“Jadi maksud anda, kafe ini sesungguhnya tak seperti slogannya?”
“Bukan slogan, tapi mitos. Arti slogan kafe ini adalah tempat yang cocok untuk menyemai cinta. Bukan berarti siapapun yang kemari pasti mendapatkan cinta. Mungkin saja ada yang cintanya ditolak atau belum saatnya diterima. Ada pasangan yang ragu mengambil keputusan, bahkan memutuskan berpisah. Nah, biasanya mereka ini malu dan enggan menunjukkannya di depan umum. Sudah banyak pula tamu yang kembali menyampaikan keluhan seperti mas ini sekarang.”
“Lantas, apa putus cinta ini semata-mata kesalahan saya?”
Dhima menggeleng. “Ceritakanlah dulu duduk perkaranya.”
Maka jadilah aku curhat. Selama menjalin kasih, aku nyaris tak sempat memberi perhatian pada Meisya. Pekerjaanku sebagai programer menuntut konsentrasi sepanjang waktu, berhari-hari lamanya. Belakangan, aku mendengar kabar burung Meisya selingkuh dengan teman kantornya. Saat kutanya, ia mengakuinya dan minta putus dariku saat itu juga.
“Bukan salah siapa-siapa,” tanggap Dhima. “Kalau Meisya sungguh mencintaimu, setidaknya ia memahami dan menerima keadaanmu yang tak bisa memperhatikannya sepanjang waktu. Sayang, ia adalah tipe wanita yang mengharapkan banyak sekali perhatian. Si teman kantor selalu bertemu dengannya tiap hari, jadi bisa lebih sering memperhatikannya. Kesimpulannya, kalian memang tidak cocok satu sama lain.”
“Ah, begitukah?”
Perasaanku berbaur, antara lega dan sesak. Lepas dari perasaan bersalah dan keinginan menyalahkan Meisya dan kafe ini, namun disesakkan oleh kenyataan kami memang takkan bisa bersatu.
Meisya memang menyebut “kurang perhatian” sebagai alasan putus cinta. Aku tak pernah memahamai hal yang sesungguhnya karena ia menimpakan segala kesalahan padaku. Pada siapa lagi harus kualihkan penghinaan ini, kalau bukan Café d’Amor?
Hanya ada satu cara memperbaiki kekhilafanku ini.
“Maafkan saya, pak,” ujarku, tertunduk malu. “Menuduh kafe anda menipu dengan sihir dan guna-guna agar orang jatuh cinta. Itu sungguh tak pantas dan sangat kekanak-kanakan.”
Dhima membalasnya dengan tawa. “Tak apa, Mas Fadli. Yang penting sekarang anda sudah tahu kuncinya. Pasangan yang cocok bagi anda adalah yang bisa menerima dan memahami anda dalam kondisi sekarang ini. Memang nampaknya akan sulit, tapi saya yakin suatu hari anda akan menemukan ‘Miss Right’ itu.”
Sebelum aku sempat mengucapkan terima kasih, mendadak seorang wanita muncul dan menggamit pundak Dhimara. Ah, aku ingat. Ia si pemain biola yang melantunkan “Besame Mucho” pesananku waktu itu. Mustahil kulupakan wajah cantik dan figurnya bak bidadari Nirwana itu.
Terlebih suara sehalus diva-nya. “Wah, wah, ada apa ini, sayang? Seru sekali bicaranya.”
“Haha, hanya langganan lama datang untuk curhat,” jawab sang suami sambil menggamit lembut tangan istrinya. “Kenalkan, ini Mas Fadli. Ini istri saya, Yvonne.”
 Kujabat tangan wanita itu. “Salam kenal, Bu Yvonne.”
“Ah, ‘masa Bu? Panggil Yvonne saja.” Senyumnya mencairkan dinding es yang membentengi hatiku.
Jalan terbuka, pembicaraan kami bagai bertemunya tiga kawan lama. Tak kusangka, mereka menceritakan hal yang tak pernah mereka ungkap pada para tamu lain.
Rupanya sebelum menikah Dhimara dan Yvonne sama-sama full-timer kantoran. Setelah nikah, Dhima membuka kafe ini untuk sambilan, menghindari macetnya Ibukota. Saat usaha kafe mulai maju, barulah Dhima mengundurkan diri dari kantornya dan Yvonne menyusul kemudian. Jadilah keduanya tinggal, mencurahkan segenap hati, pikiran dan daya-upaya untuk kafe ini, seperti pula kedua anak mereka.
Barulah kutahu, pernikahan keduanya bertahan melewati kesulitan luar biasa. Selain masalah keuangan, kesibukan akibat peran ganda di kafe mengurangi porsi waktu mereka untuk memperhatikan anak-anak dan masing-masing, apalagi untuk bersenang-senang.
Walau usaha mereka lancar kini, kesibukan mereka malah bertambah. Hanya lewat komunikasi, rasa saling mengerti, menghormati dan tenggang rasalah yang membuat bahtera rumahtangga mereka tetap berlayar meski dalam badai.
Masalahku ini tak ada apa-apanya dibanding mereka.
Waktu berlalu tanpa terasa, hingga tiba saatnya aku pamit dengan alasan hari mulai gelap. Yah, hampir waktu ramainya kafe. Sebaiknya kubiarkan mereka berkonsentrasi pada pekerjaan.
Baru tiga langkah kakiku keluar dari pintu depan, kupalingkan wajah ke arah trotoar. Tiba-tiba aku tercekat, seolah baru melihat hantu.
Itu Meisya, bersama… seorang pria gemuk berkacamata.
Dan mereka sedang berjalan menuju ke arahku.
Secepat kilat aku berbalik, masuk lagi di kafe tadi.
Kebetulan Dhima melihatku dan bertanya, “Lho, ada apa, Fad? Wajahmu kusut begitu?”
“Tolong, biar saya sembunyi sebentar. Ada Meisya lewat. Saya tak mau dia melihat saya.”
“Hah? Bukankah tak apa? Siapa tahu…”
“Tak bisa, karena dia bersama pria lain. Ah, lihat! Mereka kemari!”
“Cepat, sembunyilah di sana!” Dhima menunjuk ke bar.
Tanpa pikir panjang aku cepat-cepat duduk, meringkuk di sana. Hanya mataku yang mengintip dari balik kaca, hingga nona penjaga kasir geleng kepala.
Tubuhku panas-dingin. Kulihat mantan pacarku mengambil tempat duduk dekat jendela kafe, persis saat aku kencan dengannya dulu. Tampak Dhima melayani keduanya, pura-pura tak mengenali Meisya dan menawarkan kopi Sumatra pada si selingkuhan.
Ingin rasanya kulabrak mereka, namun Dhima menahanku.
“Lihat saja hasilnya. Jangan membuat keributan di sini,” ujarnya tegas.
Tak lama kemudian Yvonne menghampiri pasangan itu. Si pria gemuk bicara dengannya, lalu kembali bercanda-ria dengan Meisya.
Diiringi “Besame Mucho”… lagu kenanganku!
Menyebalkan! Apa takdir tengah mempermainkanku?
Memuncaki segalanya, si gendut yang jauh dari tampan itu menggamit tangan Meisya dengan lembut, mengatakan sesuatu.
Meisya menanggapinya dengan anggukan, serta senyumnya yang termanis.
“YES! YESS!” Si gendut bangkit dari kursinya, berseru sambil mengepalkan tangan di udara tanda keberhasilan. “I love you, Meisya! I love you!”
Teriring Dhimara yang menghampiri keduanya, memberi selamat.
“Keajaiban” Café d’Amor terjadi lagi.
Dengan telapak tangan kututupi mataku. Aku tak sanggup melihatnya lagi.
Harus kusembunyikan pula air mataku yang membuncah ini. Tidak, tak satupun makhluk boleh melihatku menangis. Cukup jelas, aku gagal kali ini. Tak perlu rasa malu lagi untuk menambah beban deritaku ini. Bisa kubayangkan foto mereka menggantikan fotoku dengan Meisya di “Dinding Asmara”.
Tak ada sesuatupun yang dapat menghiburku kini. Kecuali, mungkin, tangan Dhimara yang menepuk bahuku.
“Sudahlah, tak usah sesali yang telah terjadi,” ujar Dhima, kembali dengan nada kebapakan. “Ingatlah pembicaraan kita tadi.”
Aku menegadahkan kepala padanya. Pembicaraan yang mana?
“Jalan masih panjang,” lanjut si pemilik kafe. “Suatu hari nanti kau akan bertemu wanita yang mau memahami dan menerimamu apa adanya. Saat kau menemukannya, ajaklah kemari. Café d’Amor, tempat berseminya asmara.”

Jakarta, 17 Januari 2012



----------------------------------------------

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

[FireHeart Saga] Anime Potter!

Now that's a fan-made anime version for Harry Potter Saga by J.K. Rowling.

I wonder what Voldy looks like in Anime version :p









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Posted By Blogger to FireHeart Saga at 11/27/2012 10:43:00 PM

[GetAmped Fansite - KICK ASS Inc.] Don Quixote (345 of 448)

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SHARING

We encourage sharing--forward to a friend!

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CHAPTER XLII.



OF THE COUNSELS WHICH DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA BEFORE HE SET OUT TO GOVERN THE ISLAND, TOGETHER WITH OTHER WELL-CONSIDERED MATTERS



The duke and duchess were so well pleased with the successful and droll result of the adventure of the Distressed One, that they resolved to carry on the joke, seeing what a fit subject they had to deal with for making it all pass for reality. So having laid their plans and given instructions to their servants and vassals how to behave to Sancho in his government of the promised island, the next day, that following Clavileno's flight, the duke told Sancho to prepare and get ready to go and be governor, for his islanders were already looking out for him as for the showers of May.



Sancho made him an obeisance, and said, "Ever since I came down from heaven, and from the top of it beheld the earth, and saw how little it is, the great desire I had to be a governor has been partly cooled in me; for what is there grand in being ruler on a grain of mustard seed, or what dignity or authority in governing half a dozen men about as big as hazel nuts; for, so far as I could see, there were no more on the whole earth? If your lordship would be so good as to give me ever so small a bit of heaven, were it no more than half a league, I'd rather have it than the best island in the world."



"Recollect, Sancho," said the duke, "I cannot give a bit of heaven, no not so much as the breadth of my nail, to anyone; rewards and favours of that sort are reserved for God alone. What I can give I give you, and that is a real, genuine island, compact, well proportioned, and uncommonly fertile and fruitful, where, if you know how to use your opportunities, you may, with the help of the world's riches, gain those of heaven."



"Well then," said Sancho, "let the island come; and I'll try and be such a governor, that in spite of scoundrels I'll go to heaven; and it's not from any craving to quit my own humble condition or better myself, but from the desire I have to try what it tastes like to be a governor."



"If you once make trial of it, Sancho," said the duke, "you'll eat your fingers off after the government, so sweet a thing is it to command and be obeyed. Depend upon it when your master comes to be emperor (as he will beyond a doubt from the course his affairs are taking), it will be no easy matter to wrest the dignity from him, and he will be sore and sorry at heart to have been so long without becoming one."



"Senor," said Sancho, "it is my belief it's a good thing to be in command, if it's only over a drove of cattle."



"May I be buried with you, Sancho," said the duke, "but you know everything; I hope you will make as good a governor as your sagacity promises; and that is all I have to say; and now remember to-morrow is the day you must set out for the government of the island, and this evening they will provide you with the proper attire for you to wear, and all things requisite for your departure."



"Let them dress me as they like," said Sancho; "however I'm dressed I'll be Sancho Panza."



"That's true," said the duke; "but one's dress must be suited to the office or rank one holds; for it would not do for a jurist to dress like a soldier, or a soldier like a priest. You, Sancho, shall go partly as a lawyer, partly as a captain, for, in the island I am giving you, arms are needed as much as letters, and letters as much as arms."



"Of letters I know but little," said Sancho, "for I don't even know the A B C; but it is enough for me to have the Christus in my memory to be a good governor. As for arms, I'll handle those they give me till I drop, and then, God be my help!"







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CHAPTER XLI. (CONT'D)



"That is true," said Sancho, "but for all that I got a glimpse of a bit of one side of it, and saw it all."



"Take care, Sancho," said the duchess, "with a bit of one side one does not see the whole of what one looks at."



"I don't understand that way of looking at things," said Sancho; "I only know that your ladyship will do well to bear in mind that as we were flying by enchantment so I might have seen the whole earth and all the men by enchantment whatever way I looked; and if you won't believe this, no more will you believe that, uncovering myself nearly to the eyebrows, I saw myself so close to the sky that there was not a palm and a half between me and it; and by everything that I can swear by, senora, it is mighty great! And it so happened we came by where the seven goats are, and by God and upon my soul, as in my youth I was a goatherd in my own country, as soon as I saw them I felt a longing to be among them for a little, and if I had not given way to it I think I'd have burst.

So I come and take, and what do I do? without saying anything to anybody, not even to my master, softly and quietly I got down from Clavileno and amused myself with the goats--which are like violets, like flowers--for nigh three-quarters of an hour; and Clavileno never stirred or moved from one spot."



"And while the good Sancho was amusing himself with the goats," said the duke, "how did Senor Don Quixote amuse himself?"



To which Don Quixote replied, "As all these things and such like occurrences are out of the ordinary course of nature, it is no wonder that Sancho says what he does; for my own part I can only say that I did not uncover my eyes either above or below, nor did I see sky or earth or sea or shore. It is true I felt that I was passing through the region of the air, and even that I touched that of fire; but that we passed farther I cannot believe; for the region of fire being between the heaven of the moon and the last region of the air, we could not have reached that heaven where the seven goats Sancho speaks of are without being burned; and as we were not burned, either Sancho is lying or Sancho is dreaming."



"I am neither lying nor dreaming," said Sancho; "only ask me the tokens of those same goats, and you'll see by that whether I'm telling the truth or not."



"Tell us them then, Sancho," said the duchess.



"Two of them," said Sancho, "are green, two blood-red, two blue, and one a mixture of all colours."



"An odd sort of goat, that," said the duke; "in this earthly region of ours we have no such colours; I mean goats of such colours."



"That's very plain," said Sancho; "of course there must be a difference between the goats of heaven and the goats of the earth."



"Tell me, Sancho," said the duke, "did you see any he-goat among those goats?"



"No, senor," said Sancho; "but I have heard say that none ever passed the horns of the moon."



They did not care to ask him anything more about his journey, for they saw he was in the vein to go rambling all over the heavens giving an account of everything that went on there, without having ever stirred from the garden. Such, in short, was the end of the adventure of the Distressed Duenna, which gave the duke and duchess laughing matter not only for the time being, but for all their lives, and Sancho something to talk about for ages, if he lived so long; but Don Quixote, coming close to his ear, said to him, "Sancho, as you would have us believe what you saw in heaven, I require you to believe me as to what I saw in the cave of Montesinos; I say no more."







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CHAPTER XLI. (CONT'D)



"I don't know how that may be," said Sancho; "all I know is that if the Senora Magallanes or Magalona was satisfied with this croup, she could not have been very tender of flesh."



The duke, the duchess, and all in the garden were listening to the conversation of the two heroes, and were beyond measure amused by it; and now, desirous of putting a finishing touch to this rare and well-contrived adventure, they applied a light to Clavileno's tail with some tow, and the horse, being full of squibs and crackers, immediately blew up with a prodigious noise, and brought Don Quixote and Sancho Panza to the ground half singed. By this time the bearded band of duennas, the Trifaldi and all, had vanished from the garden, and those that remained lay stretched on the ground as if in a swoon.

Don Quixote and Sancho got up rather shaken, and, looking about them, were filled with amazement at finding themselves in the same garden from which they had started, and seeing such a number of people stretched on the ground; and their astonishment was increased when at one side of the garden they perceived a tall lance planted in the ground, and hanging from it by two cords of green silk a smooth white parchment on which there was the following inscription in large gold letters:

"The illustrious knight Don Quixote of La Mancha has, by merely attempting it, finished and concluded the adventure of the Countess Trifaldi, otherwise called the Distressed Duenna; Malambruno is now satisfied on every point, the chins of the duennas are now smooth and clean, and King Don Clavijo and Queen Antonomasia in their original form; and when the squirely flagellation shall have been completed, the white dove shall find herself delivered from the pestiferous gerfalcons that persecute her, and in the arms of her beloved mate; for such is the decree of the sage Merlin, arch-enchanter of enchanters."



As soon as Don Quixote had read the inscription on the parchment he perceived clearly that it referred to the disenchantment of Dulcinea, and returning hearty thanks to heaven that he had with so little danger achieved so grand an exploit as to restore to their former complexion the countenances of those venerable duennas, he advanced towards the duke and duchess, who had not yet come to themselves, and taking the duke by the hand he said, "Be of good cheer, worthy sir, be of good cheer; it's nothing at all; the adventure is now over and without any harm done, as the inscription fixed on this post shows plainly."



The duke came to himself slowly and like one recovering consciousness after a heavy sleep, and the duchess and all who had fallen prostrate about the garden did the same, with such demonstrations of wonder and amazement that they would have almost persuaded one that what they pretended so adroitly in jest had happened to them in reality. The duke read the placard with half-shut eyes, and then ran to embrace Don Quixote with-open arms, declaring him to be the best knight that had ever been seen in any age. Sancho kept looking about for the Distressed One, to see what her face was like without the beard, and if she was as fair as her elegant person promised; but they told him that, the instant Clavileno descended flaming through the air and came to the ground, the whole band of duennas with the Trifaldi vanished, and that they were already shaved and without a stump left.



The duchess asked Sancho how he had fared on that long journey, to which Sancho replied, "I felt, senora, that we were flying through the region of fire, as my master told me, and I wanted to uncover my eyes for a bit; but my master, when I asked leave to uncover myself, would not let me; but as I have a little bit of curiosity about me, and a desire to know what is forbidden and kept from me, quietly and without anyone seeing me I drew aside the handkerchief covering my eyes ever so little, close to my nose, and from underneath looked towards the earth, and it seemed to me that it was altogether no bigger than a grain of mustard seed, and that the men walking on it were little bigger than hazel nuts; so you may see how high we must have got to then."



To this the duchess said, "Sancho, my friend, mind what you are saying; it seems you could not have seen the earth, but only the men walking on it; for if the earth looked to you like a grain of mustard seed, and each man like a hazel nut, one man alone would have covered the whole earth."







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CHAPTER XLI. (CONT'D)



Sancho did so, and, bidding them farewell, allowed his eyes to be bandaged, but immediately afterwards uncovered them again, and looking tenderly and tearfully on those in the garden, bade them help him in his present strait with plenty of Paternosters and Ave Marias, that God might provide some one to say as many for them, whenever they found themselves in a similar emergency.



At this Don Quixote exclaimed, "Art thou on the gallows, thief, or at thy last moment, to use pitiful entreaties of that sort? Cowardly, spiritless creature, art thou not in the very place the fair Magalona occupied, and from which she descended, not into the grave, but to become Queen of France; unless the histories lie? And I who am here beside thee, may I not put myself on a par with the valiant Pierres, who pressed this very spot that I now press? Cover thine eyes, cover thine eyes, abject animal, and let not thy fear escape thy lips, at least in my presence."



"Blindfold me," said Sancho; "as you won't let me commend myself or be commended to God, is it any wonder if I am afraid there is a region of devils about here that will carry us off to Peralvillo?"



They were then blindfolded, and Don Quixote, finding himself settled to his satisfaction, felt for the peg, and the instant he placed his fingers on it, all the duennas and all who stood by lifted up their voices exclaiming, "God guide thee, valiant knight! God be with thee, intrepid squire! Now, now ye go cleaving the air more swiftly than an arrow! Now ye begin to amaze and astonish all who are gazing at you from the earth! Take care not to wobble about, valiant Sancho! Mind thou fall not, for thy fall will be worse than that rash youth's who tried to steer the chariot of his father the Sun!"



As Sancho heard the voices, clinging tightly to his master and winding his arms round him, he said, "Senor, how do they make out we are going up so high, if their voices reach us here and they seem to be speaking quite close to us?"



"Don't mind that, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "for as affairs of this sort, and flights like this are out of the common course of things, you can see and hear as much as you like a thousand leagues off; but don't squeeze me so tight or thou wilt upset me; and really I know not what thou hast to be uneasy or frightened at, for I can safely swear I never mounted a smoother-going steed all the days of my life; one would fancy we never stirred from one place. Banish fear, my friend, for indeed everything is going as it ought, and we have the wind astern."



"That's true," said Sancho, "for such a strong wind comes against me on this side, that it seems as if people were blowing on me with a thousand pair of bellows;" which was the case; they were puffing at him with a great pair of bellows; for the whole adventure was so well planned by the duke, the duchess, and their majordomo, that nothing was omitted to make it perfectly successful.



Don Quixote now, feeling the blast, said, "Beyond a doubt, Sancho, we must have already reached the second region of the air, where the hail and snow are generated; the thunder, the lightning, and the thunderbolts are engendered in the third region, and if we go on ascending at this rate, we shall shortly plunge into the region of fire, and I know not how to regulate this peg, so as not to mount up where we shall be burned."



And now they began to warm their faces, from a distance, with tow that could be easily set on fire and extinguished again, fixed on the end of a cane. On feeling the heat Sancho said, "May I die if we are not already in that fire place, or very near it, for a good part of my beard has been singed, and I have a mind, senor, to uncover and see whereabouts we are."



"Do nothing of the kind," said Don Quixote; "remember the true story of the licentiate Torralva that the devils carried flying through the air riding on a stick with his eyes shut; who in twelve hours reached Rome and dismounted at Torre di Nona, which is a street of the city, and saw the whole sack and storming and the death of Bourbon, and was back in Madrid the next morning, where he gave an account of all he had seen; and he said moreover that as he was going through the air, the devil bade him open his eyes, and he did so, and saw himself so near the body of the moon, so it seemed to him, that he could have laid hold of it with his hand, and that he did not dare to look at the earth lest he should be seized with giddiness.

So that, Sancho, it will not do for us to uncover ourselves, for he who has us in charge will be responsible for us; and perhaps we are gaining an altitude and mounting up to enable us to descend at one swoop on the kingdom of Kandy, as the saker or falcon does on the heron, so as to seize it however high it may soar; and though it seems to us not half an hour since we left the garden, believe me we must have travelled a great distance."







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CHAPTER XLI. (CONT'D)



To this the Trifaldi made answer, "Sancho, you may freely commend yourself to God or whom you will; for Malambruno though an enchanter is a Christian, and works his enchantments with great circumspection, taking very good care not to fall out with anyone."



"Well then," said Sancho, "God and the most holy Trinity of Gaeta give me help!"



"Since the memorable adventure of the fulling mills," said Don Quixote, "I have never seen Sancho in such a fright as now; were I as superstitious as others his abject fear would cause me some little trepidation of spirit. But come here, Sancho, for with the leave of these gentles I would say a word or two to thee in private;" and drawing Sancho aside among the trees of the garden and seizing both his hands he said, "Thou seest, brother Sancho, the long journey we have before us, and God knows when we shall return, or what leisure or opportunities this business will allow us; I wish thee therefore to retire now to thy chamber, as though thou wert going to fetch something required for the road, and in a trice give thyself if it be only five hundred lashes on account of the three thousand three hundred to which thou art bound; it will be all to the good, and to make a beginning with a thing is to have it half finished."



"By God," said Sancho, "but your worship must be out of your senses! This is like the common saying, 'You see me with child, and you want me a virgin.' Just as I'm about to go sitting on a bare board, your worship would have me score my backside! Indeed, your worship is not reasonable. Let us be off to shave these duennas; and on our return I promise on my word to make such haste to wipe off all that's due as will satisfy your worship; I can't say more."



"Well, I will comfort myself with that promise, my good Sancho," replied Don Quixote, "and I believe thou wilt keep it; for indeed though stupid thou art veracious."



"I'm not voracious," said Sancho, "only peckish; but even if I was a little, still I'd keep my word."



With this they went back to mount Clavileno, and as they were about to do so Don Quixote said, "Cover thine eyes, Sancho, and mount; for one who sends for us from lands so far distant cannot mean to deceive us for the sake of the paltry glory to be derived from deceiving persons who trust in him; though all should turn out the contrary of what I hope, no malice will be able to dim the glory of having undertaken this exploit."



"Let us be off, senor," said Sancho, "for I have taken the beards and tears of these ladies deeply to heart, and I shan't eat a bit to relish it until I have seen them restored to their former smoothness. Mount, your worship, and blindfold yourself, for if I am to go on the croup, it is plain the rider in the saddle must mount first."



"That is true," said Don Quixote, and, taking a handkerchief out of his pocket, he begged the Distressed One to bandage his eyes very carefully; but after having them bandaged he uncovered them again, saying, "If my memory does not deceive me, I have read in Virgil of the Palladium of Troy, a wooden horse the Greeks offered to the goddess Pallas, which was big with armed knights, who were afterwards the destruction of Troy; so it would be as well to see, first of all, what Clavileno has in his stomach."



"There is no occasion," said the Distressed One; "I will be bail for him, and I know that Malambruno has nothing tricky or treacherous about him; you may mount without any fear, Senor Don Quixote; on my head be it if any harm befalls you."



Don Quixote thought that to say anything further with regard to his safety would be putting his courage in an unfavourable light; and so, without more words, he mounted Clavileno, and tried the peg, which turned easily; and as he had no stirrups and his legs hung down, he looked like nothing so much as a figure in some Roman triumph painted or embroidered on a Flemish tapestry.



Much against the grain, and very slowly, Sancho proceeded to mount, and, after settling himself as well as he could on the croup, found it rather hard, and not at all soft, and asked the duke if it would be possible to oblige him with a pad of some kind, or a cushion; even if it were off the couch of his lady the duchess, or the bed of one of the pages; as the haunches of that horse were more like marble than wood. On this the Trifaldi observed that Clavileno would not bear any kind of harness or trappings, and that his best plan would be to sit sideways like a woman, as in that way he would not feel the hardness so much.







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CHAPTER XLI.



OF THE ARRIVAL OF CLAVILENO AND THE END OF THIS PROTRACTED ADVENTURE



And now night came, and with it the appointed time for the arrival of the famous horse Clavileno, the non-appearance of which was already beginning to make Don Quixote uneasy, for it struck him that, as Malambruno was so long about sending it, either he himself was not the knight for whom the adventure was reserved, or else Malambruno did not dare to meet him in single combat. But lo! suddenly there came into the garden four wild-men all clad in green ivy bearing on their shoulders a great wooden horse. They placed it on its feet on the ground, and one of the wild-men said, "Let the knight who has heart for it mount this machine."



Here Sancho exclaimed, "I don't mount, for neither have I the heart nor am I a knight."



"And let the squire, if he has one," continued the wild-man, "take his seat on the croup, and let him trust the valiant Malambruno; for by no sword save his, nor by the malice of any other, shall he be assailed. It is but to turn this peg the horse has in his neck, and he will bear them through the air to where Malambruno awaits them; but lest the vast elevation of their course should make them giddy, their eyes must be covered until the horse neighs, which will be the sign of their having completed their journey."



With these words, leaving Clavileno behind them, they retired with easy dignity the way they came. As soon as the Distressed One saw the horse, almost in tears she exclaimed to Don Quixote, "Valiant knight, the promise of Malambruno has proved trustworthy; the horse has come, our beards are growing, and by every hair in them all of us implore thee to shave and shear us, as it is only mounting him with thy squire and making a happy beginning with your new journey."



"That I will, Senora Countess Trifaldi," said Don Quixote, "most gladly and with right goodwill, without stopping to take a cushion or put on my spurs, so as not to lose time, such is my desire to see you and all these duennas shaved clean."



"That I won't," said Sancho, "with good-will or bad-will, or any way at all; and if this shaving can't be done without my mounting on the croup, my master had better look out for another squire to go with him, and these ladies for some other way of making their faces smooth; I'm no witch to have a taste for travelling through the air.

What would my islanders say when they heard their governor was going, strolling about on the winds? And another thing, as it is three thousand and odd leagues from this to Kandy, if the horse tires, or the giant takes huff, we'll be half a dozen years getting back, and there won't be isle or island in the world that will know me: and so, as it is a common saying 'in delay there's danger,' and 'when they offer thee a heifer run with a halter,' these ladies' beards must excuse me; 'Saint Peter is very well in Rome;' I mean I am very well in this house where so much is made of me, and I hope for such a good thing from the master as to see myself a governor."



"Friend Sancho," said the duke at this, "the island that I have promised you is not a moving one, or one that will run away; it has roots so deeply buried in the bowels of the earth that it will be no easy matter to pluck it up or shift it from where it is; you know as well as I do that there is no sort of office of any importance that is not obtained by a bribe of some kind, great or small; well then, that which I look to receive for this government is that you go with your master Don Quixote, and bring this memorable adventure to a conclusion; and whether you return on Clavileno as quickly as his speed seems to promise, or adverse fortune brings you back on foot travelling as a pilgrim from hostel to hostel and from inn to inn, you will always find your island on your return where you left it, and your islanders with the same eagerness they have always had to receive you as their governor, and my good-will will remain the same; doubt not the truth of this, Senor Sancho, for

that

would be grievously wronging my disposition to serve you."



"Say no more, senor," said Sancho; "I am a poor squire and not equal to carrying so much courtesy; let my master mount; bandage my eyes and commit me to God's care, and tell me if I may commend myself to our Lord or call upon the angels to protect me when we go towering up there."







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CHAPTER XL. (CONT'D)



"In the king's name!" exclaimed Sancho, "what have squires got to do with the adventures of their masters? Are they to have the fame of such as they go through, and we the labour? Body o' me! if the historians would only say, 'Such and such a knight finished such and such an adventure, but with the help of so and so, his squire, without which it would have been impossible for him to accomplish it;' but they write curtly, "Don Paralipomenon of the Three Stars accomplished the adventure of the six monsters;' without mentioning such a person as his squire, who was there all the time, just as if there was no such being. Once more, sirs, I say my master may go alone, and much good may it do him; and I'll stay here in the company of my lady the duchess; and maybe when he comes back, he will find the lady Dulcinea's affair ever so much advanced; for I mean in leisure hours, and at idle moments, to give myself a spell of whipping without so much as a hair to cover me."



"For all that you must go if it be necessary, my good Sancho," said the duchess, "for they are worthy folk who ask you; and the faces of these ladies must not remain overgrown in this way because of your idle fears; that would be a hard case indeed."



"In the king's name, once more!" said Sancho; "If this charitable work were to be done for the sake of damsels in confinement or charity-girls, a man might expose himself to some hardships; but to bear it for the sake of stripping beards off duennas! Devil take it! I'd sooner see them all bearded, from the highest to the lowest, and from the most prudish to the most affected."



"You are very hard on duennas, Sancho my friend," said the duchess; "you incline very much to the opinion of the Toledo apothecary. But indeed you are wrong; there are duennas in my house that may serve as patterns of duennas; and here is my Dona Rodriguez, who will not allow me to say otherwise."



"Your excellence may say it if you like," said the Rodriguez; "for God knows the truth of everything; and whether we duennas are good or bad, bearded or smooth, we are our mothers' daughters like other women; and as God sent us into the world, he knows why he did, and on his mercy I rely, and not on anybody's beard."



"Well, Senora Rodriguez, Senora Trifaldi, and present company," said Don Quixote, "I trust in Heaven that it will look with kindly eyes upon your troubles, for Sancho will do as I bid him. Only let Clavileno come and let me find myself face to face with Malambruno, and I am certain no razor will shave you more easily than my sword shall shave Malambruno's head off his shoulders; for 'God bears with the wicked, but not for ever."



"Ah!" exclaimed the Distressed One at this, "may all the stars of the celestial regions look down upon your greatness with benign eyes, valiant knight, and shed every prosperity and valour upon your heart, that it may be the shield and safeguard of the abused and downtrodden race of duennas, detested by apothecaries, sneered at by squires, and made game of by pages. Ill betide the jade that in the flower of her youth would not sooner become a nun than a duenna! Unfortunate beings that we are, we duennas! Though we may be descended in the direct male line from Hector of Troy himself, our mistresses never fail to address us as 'you' if they think it makes queens of them. O giant Malambruno, though thou art an enchanter, thou art true to thy promises. Send us now the peerless Clavileno, that our misfortune may be brought to an end; for if the hot weather sets in and these beards of ours are still there, alas for our lot!"



The Trifaldi said this in such a pathetic way that she drew tears from the eyes of all and even Sancho's filled up; and he resolved in his heart to accompany his master to the uttermost ends of the earth, if so be the removal of the wool from those venerable countenances depended upon it.







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CHAPTER XL. (CONT'D)



"For going smoothly and easily," said Sancho at this, "give me my Dapple, though he can't go through the air; but on the ground I'll back him against all the amblers in the world."



They all laughed, and the Distressed One continued: "And this same horse, if so be that Malambruno is disposed to put an end to our sufferings, will be here before us ere the night shall have advanced half an hour; for he announced to me that the sign he would give me whereby I might know that I had found the knight I was in quest of, would be to send me the horse wherever he might be, speedily and promptly."



"And how many is there room for on this horse?" asked Sancho.



"Two," said the Distressed One, "one in the saddle, and the other on the croup; and generally these two are knight and squire, when there is no damsel that's being carried off."



"I'd like to know, Senora Distressed One," said Sancho, "what is the name of this horse?"



"His name," said the Distressed One, "is not the same as Bellerophon's horse that was called Pegasus, or Alexander the Great's, called Bucephalus, or Orlando Furioso's, the name of which was Brigliador, nor yet Bayard, the horse of Reinaldos of Montalvan, nor Frontino like Ruggiero's, nor Bootes or Peritoa, as they say the horses of the sun were called, nor is he called Orelia, like the horse on which the unfortunate Rodrigo, the last king of the Goths, rode to the battle where he lost his life and his kingdom."



"I'll bet," said Sancho, "that as they have given him none of these famous names of well-known horses, no more have they given him the name of my master's Rocinante, which for being apt surpasses all that have been mentioned."



"That is true," said the bearded countess, "still it fits him very well, for he is called Clavileno the Swift, which name is in accordance with his being made of wood, with the peg he has in his forehead, and with the swift pace at which he travels; and so, as far as name goes, he may compare with the famous Rocinante."



"I have nothing to say against his name," said Sancho; "but with what sort of bridle or halter is he managed?"



"I have said already," said the Trifaldi, "that it is with a peg, by turning which to one side or the other the knight who rides him makes him go as he pleases, either through the upper air, or skimming and almost sweeping the earth, or else in that middle course that is sought and followed in all well-regulated proceedings."



"I'd like to see him," said Sancho; "but to fancy I'm going to mount him, either in the saddle or on the croup, is to ask pears of the elm tree. A good joke indeed! I can hardly keep my seat upon Dapple, and on a pack-saddle softer than silk itself, and here they'd have me hold on upon haunches of plank without pad or cushion of any sort! Gad, I have no notion of bruising myself to get rid of anyone's beard; let each one shave himself as best he can; I'm not going to accompany my master on any such long journey; besides, I can't give any help to the shaving of these beards as I can to the disenchantment of my lady Dulcinea."



"Yes, you can, my friend," replied the Trifaldi; "and so much, that without you, so I understand, we shall be able to do nothing."







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CHAPTER XL.



OF MATTERS RELATING AND BELONGING TO THIS ADVENTURE AND TO THIS MEMORABLE HISTORY



Verily and truly all those who find pleasure in histories like this ought show their gratitude to Cide Hamete, its original author, for the scrupulous care he has taken to set before us all its minute particulars, not leaving anything, however trifling it may be, that he does not make clear and plain. He portrays the thoughts, he reveals the fancies, he answers implied questions, clears up doubts, sets objections at rest, and, in a word, makes plain the smallest points the most inquisitive can desire to know. O renowned author! O happy Don Quixote! O famous famous droll Sancho! All and each, may ye live countless ages for the delight and amusement of the dwellers on earth!



The history goes on to say that when Sancho saw the Distressed One faint he exclaimed: "I swear by the faith of an honest man and the shades of all my ancestors the Panzas, that never I did see or hear of, nor has my master related or conceived in his mind, such an adventure as this. A thousand devils--not to curse thee--take thee, Malambruno, for an enchanter and a giant! Couldst thou find no other sort of punishment for these sinners but bearding them? Would it not have been better--it would have been better for them--to have taken off half their noses from the middle upwards, even though they'd have snuffled when they spoke, than to have put beards on them? I'll bet they have not the means of paying anybody to shave them."



"That is the truth, senor," said one of the twelve; "we have not the money to get ourselves shaved, and so we have, some of us, taken to using sticking-plasters by way of an economical remedy, for by applying them to our faces and plucking them off with a jerk we are left as bare and smooth as the bottom of a stone mortar. There are, to be sure, women in Kandy that go about from house to house to remove down, and trim eyebrows, and make cosmetics for the use of the women, but we, the duennas of my lady, would never let them in, for most of them have a flavour of agents that have ceased to be principals; and if we are not relieved by Senor Don Quixote we shall be carried to our graves with beards."



"I will pluck out my own in the land of the Moors," said Don Quixote, "if I don't cure yours."



At this instant the Trifaldi recovered from her swoon and said, "The chink of that promise, valiant knight, reached my ears in the midst of my swoon, and has been the means of reviving me and bringing back my senses; and so once more I implore you, illustrious errant, indomitable sir, to let your gracious promises be turned into deeds."



"There shall be no delay on my part," said Don Quixote. "Bethink you, senora, of what I must do, for my heart is most eager to serve you."



"The fact is," replied the Distressed One, "it is five thousand leagues, a couple more or less, from this to the kingdom of Kandy, if you go by land; but if you go through the air and in a straight line, it is three thousand two hundred and twenty-seven. You must know, too, that Malambruno told me that, whenever fate provided the knight our deliverer, he himself would send him a steed far better and with less tricks than a post-horse; for he will be that same wooden horse on which the valiant Pierres carried off the fair Magalona; which said horse is guided by a peg he has in his forehead that serves for a bridle, and flies through the air with such rapidity that you would fancy the very devils were carrying him. This horse, according to ancient tradition, was made by Merlin.

He lent him to Pierres, who was a friend of his, and who made long journeys with him, and, as has been said, carried off the fair Magalona, bearing her through the air on its haunches and making all who beheld them from the earth gape with astonishment; and he never lent him save to those whom he loved or those who paid him well; and since the great Pierres we know of no one having mounted him until now.

From him Malambruno stole him by his magic art, and he has him now in his possession, and makes use of him in his journeys which he constantly makes through different parts of the world; he is here to-day, to-morrow in France, and the next day in Potosi; and the best of it is the said horse neither eats nor sleeps nor wears out shoes, and goes at an ambling pace through the air without wings, so that he whom he has mounted upon him can carry a cup full of water in his hand without spilling a drop, so smoothly and easily does he go, for which reason the fair Magalona enjoyed riding him greatly."







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CHAPTER XXXIX.



IN WHICH THE TRIFALDI CONTINUES HER MARVELLOUS AND MEMORABLE STORY



By every word that Sancho uttered, the duchess was as much delighted as Don Quixote was driven to desperation. He bade him hold his tongue, and the Distressed One went on to say: "At length, after much questioning and answering, as the princess held to her story, without changing or varying her previous declaration, the Vicar gave his decision in favour of Don Clavijo, and she was delivered over to him as his lawful wife; which the Queen Dona Maguncia, the Princess Antonomasia's mother, so took to heart, that within the space of three days we buried her."



"She died, no doubt," said Sancho.



"Of course," said Trifaldin; "they don't bury living people in Kandy, only the dead."



"Senor Squire," said Sancho, "a man in a swoon has been known to be buried before now, in the belief that he was dead; and it struck me that Queen Maguncia ought to have swooned rather than died; because with life a great many things come right, and the princess's folly was not so great that she need feel it so keenly. If the lady had married some page of hers, or some other servant of the house, as many another has done, so I have heard say, then the mischief would have been past curing. But to marry such an elegant accomplished gentleman as has been just now described to us--indeed, indeed, though it was a folly, it was not such a great one as you think; for according to the rules of my master here--and he won't allow me to lie--as of men of letters bishops are made, so of gentlemen knights, specially if they be errant, kings and emperors may be made."



"Thou art right, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for with a knight-errant, if he has but two fingers' breadth of good fortune, it is on the cards to become the mightiest lord on earth. But let senora the Distressed One proceed; for I suspect she has got yet to tell us the bitter part of this so far sweet story."



"The bitter is indeed to come," said the countess; "and such bitter that colocynth is sweet and oleander toothsome in comparison.

The queen, then, being dead, and not in a swoon, we buried her; and hardly had we covered her with earth, hardly had we said our last farewells, when, quis talia fando temperet a lachrymis?

over the queen's grave there appeared, mounted upon a wooden horse, the giant Malambruno, Maguncia's first cousin, who besides being cruel is an enchanter; and he, to revenge the death of his cousin, punish the audacity of Don Clavijo, and in wrath at the contumacy of Antonomasia, left them both enchanted by his art on the grave itself; she being changed into an ape of brass, and he into a horrible crocodile of some unknown metal; while between the two there stands a pillar, also of metal, with certain characters in the Syriac language inscribed upon it, which, being translated into Kandian, and now into Castilian, contain the following sentence: 'These two rash lovers shall not recover their former shape until the valiant Manchegan comes to do battle with me in single combat; for the Fates reserve this unexampled adventure for his mighty valour alone.

' This done, he drew from its sheath a huge broad scimitar, and seizing me by the hair he made as though he meant to cut my throat and shear my head clean off. I was terror-stricken, my voice stuck in my throat, and I was in the deepest distress; nevertheless I summoned up my strength as well as I could, and in a trembling and piteous voice I addressed such words to him as induced him to stay the infliction of a punishment so severe.

He then caused all the duennas of the palace, those that are here present, to be brought before him; and after having dwelt upon the enormity of our offence, and denounced duennas, their characters, their evil ways and worse intrigues, laying to the charge of all what I alone was guilty of, he said he would not visit us with capital punishment, but with others of a slow nature which would be in effect civil death for ever; and the very instant he ceased speaking we all felt the pores of our faces opening, and pricking us, as if with the points of needles. We at once put our hands up to our faces and found ourselves in the state you now see."



Here the Distressed One and the other duennas raised the veils with which they were covered, and disclosed countenances all bristling with beards, some red, some black, some white, and some grizzled, at which spectacle the duke and duchess made a show of being filled with wonder.

Don Quixote and Sancho were overwhelmed with amazement, and the bystanders lost in astonishment, while the Trifaldi went on to say: "Thus did that malevolent villain Malambruno punish us, covering the tenderness and softness of our faces with these rough bristles! Would to heaven that he had swept off our heads with his enormous scimitar instead of obscuring the light of our countenances with these wool-combings that cover us!

For if we look into the matter, sirs (and what I am now going to say I would say with eyes flowing like fountains, only that the thought of our misfortune and the oceans they have already wept, keep them as dry as barley spears, and so I say it without tears), where, I ask, can a duenna with a beard to to? What father or mother will feel pity for her? Who will help her? For, if even when she has a smooth skin, and a face tortured by a thousand kinds of washes and cosmetics, she can hardly get anybody to love her, what will she do when she shows a countenace turned into a thicket? Oh duennas, companions mine! it was an unlucky moment when we were born and an ill-starred hour when our fathers begot us!" And as she said this she showed signs of being about to faint.







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